Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Saying It

Another momma just posted Say It and it starts like this: "I remember when I couldn’t say it without choking up. I couldn’t get it out without the heat rising inside of me... I couldn’t say it without feeling like I might crack wide open and my guts would fall out on the floor...."  I loved the entire post, but don't want to repost the entire thing so go check it out if you are interested.

It got me thinking...I can finally tell someone that Sweet Pea has Down syndrome without tearing up MOST of the time now!  It has taken me a year, but I'm getting there!  I went to Target just last night and I was chatting with the parents of a boy who was turning one tomorrow.  I told them that my daughter's 1st birthday was on Monday and that I was trying to find one perfect toy for her.  (Daddy & I agreed to only buy one toy due to our current financial constraints and, in all honesty, she has a million toys handed down from her cousins so she isn't deprived at all).  When they showed me a toy that their son absolutely adored and it was one where the kid walks around with it, I very calmly explained that my Sweet Pea has DS so she is a bit behind.  I didn't even get the pit in the bottom of my stomach when I said it!  That was the first time I was almost ok with saying it!  I still felt a bit sorry for myself and for Sweet Pea, but it was a very small amount.  Progress!!!!

I can remember so many times this past year where I have completely broken down when I had to tell someone that Sweet Pea has DS!  It's been a dreadful thought when I run into someone that I haven't seen in a very long time and that would have no idea what our past year has been like.  I always fear that my eyes are going to start to water and once that happens all hope is lost for me controlling myself.  I think that is why I've lived in a little bubble for most of this year.  It was easier than dealing with reality.

Sweet Pea is almost one though and I need to start celebrating the wonderful little girl that she IS.  Not what is slower about her and all the minor medical issues, but what a joy she is and what joy she brings to her daddy and me.  When people ask me how she is, I need to say that she is great!  Ok, maybe that is a bit of a stretch since she normally has a cold or something, but at least say that she is doing really well and we are very proud of her, because we are!

I just read a great quote that was on Sweet Ella Grace's blog (who just happens to have Sweet Pea's birthday, but a year earlier)...don't know who said it, but I like it!
“Life isn’t the way it is suppose to be. It’s the way it is. It’s how you cope with it that makes all the difference”.

And this Down Syndrome Creed I picked up from Therklesen Bliss:
My face may be different but my feelings are the same. I laugh and I cry and take pride in my gains. I was sent here among you to teach you to love, as God in the heavens looks down from above. To Him, I'm no different His love knows no bounds; It's those here among you in the cities and towns, that judge me by standards that man has imparted, but this family I've chosen, will help me get started. For I'm one of the children so special and few, that came here to learn the same lessons as you. That love is acceptance, it must come from the heart; we all have the same purpose, though not the same start. The Lord gave me life to live and embrace, and I'll do it as you do, but at my own pace.  -author unknown

We love you Sweet Pea and all that you are and all that you do!  Even when you frustrate us, we still love you!!!!!


  1. Very sweet post!! I had tears in my eyes the whole way through. I can soooooo relate! Every time I have one of "THOSE" moments, I just look at my little boy and his beautiful smile, and all is right with the world! These emotions are all part of our journey, this is how "WE" grow:) Sweet Pea is one lucky little girl!!

  2. LOVE this post. I still remember that 1st time I had to tell someone that Marissa had DS. Who knew it would be so very hard. But thankfully, it gets easier and you get prouder as well because all those accomplishments they achieve are so much more amazing.

  3. Wow, I am so with ya! Your post made me realize that I usedto cry all the time when I would have to tell someone that Emily has DS, especially if it was someone I hadn't seen in a while...but it's been a really long time since that has are right, that's progress! Your daughter is beautiful!

  4. I did a bit of a bubble the first 12-18 months, but the reverse bubble. I couldn't get myself to expose us to other families in our same boat. Tyler was doing well and I was afraid of what the future might hold. We all go through it in our own way and none of it is right or wrong. I'm so glad it is getting easier and you SHOULD be very proud of yourself.